Lived Experience: How Does DLD Affect Mental Health?

Developmental language disorder (DLD) or language disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that makes it harder for people to understand and use language. It first appears in early childhood and lasts into the adult years—and it affects nearly every area of a person’s life, from education to employment to relationships to mental health.  

If we want to minimize the impacts of DLD, it’s important to learn more about what it can look like day-to-day in different people. We can listen to those who live with DLD and who’ve spoken candidly to researchers in the field.  

What Does DLD Feel Like? 

Though it can be a real challenge to put their feelings into words, people with DLD can and do describe their experiences in powerful, moving terms. Here’s what a few children and teens had to say about what it feels like to have DLD.

Speaking to Swedish researchers, a group of 23 teens talked about how hard it is not to be able to “find the right words,” tell one word from another, or “put the words in the right order.”  One 16-year-old girl said she had trouble expressing herself because “the words get wrong in my mouth, sort of…the word order gets sort of wrong” (Ekström et al., 2023).  

In the same Swedish study, a 13-year-old boy discussed the mismatch between what he meant to say and what he actually says. “I speak pretty chaotically,” he told researchers. “I talk about something, and then I jump to something else, then something else. Sometimes I go back to the first, in some strange way, and then back to something else” (Ekström et al., 2023).  

Studies show that when people with DLD share information in a narrative form, their storytelling may: 

• be shorter and simpler; 
• have less fluency or cohesion; and 
• contain more grammar errors (Janssen et al., 2024). 

What Are the Mental Health Effects of DLD? 

The relationship between mental health and DLD is a complex one. Having a language disorder can cause stress, anxiety, loss of self-esteem, a sense of isolation, and depression symptoms. In some cases, language disorder occurs alongside anxiety disorder or major depressive disorder. And in yet another twist, anxiety and depression can alter the way people communicate.  

Children, teens, and adults have explained their feelings to researchers in several recent qualitative studies.  

Anxiety is a constant for many people with DLD—and stress can make it even harder to communicate. What anxiety looks like can vary depending on the individual.  

Thumb-sucking is a comfort mechanism for some younger children. Clinging to the safe predictability of routines is another common coping strategy. Other children may act silly or grumpy to avoid having to engage in conversation. One mother observed, “I think it’s a sort of protection thing so he’s not expected to respond or participate…He tries to come across as really unapproachable so people will leave him alone” (Burnley et al., 2024). 

Some students with DLD worry about having to speak up in class or in group social situations. Often, the stress is enough to keep them silent. “I don’t know, but I’m also really scared that I will say the wrong words,” 15-year-old Yvonne acknowledged. “I get so nervous.” 

One student said anxiety kept her from being able to “get hold of” the words, while another said when she felt nervous “the words come really weirdly” (Ekström et al., 2023).  

Alleviating anxiety and providing adequate classroom communication support is vital because anxiety and depression are part of the DLD experience for many people. A comprehensive study that included over 46,000 Scandinavians found that adults with DLD scored lower on measures of mental health than those without the condition (Nudel et al., 2023).  

Low self-esteem is a frequent consequence of language difficulties, and it tends to persist into the adult years. When Meghan, a study participant, looked back at her school years, she remembered feeling different from other students. “Seeing people getting the praise for doing like exams and things, wishing you could be like that…It really pulled me down, like I’m not good enough…It knocked my confidence a lot” (Burnley et al., 2023). 

Another adult recalled, “I recognized I wasn't doing as well as my peers and took on teacher’s perception that I was lazy, (all reports said I must 'try harder') until I saw a psychologist during my Yr. 11 who helped my MH [mental health]/self-esteem” (Wilmot et al., 2024). 

For some, the period before they received a DLD diagnosis was especially hard. One adult observed:

I think it is so much worse when your needs are not identified—feeling like your misunderstood, no one understands you, you don’t understand yourself, there is something wrong with you, self-hatred, negative thoughts, self-criticize, self-conscious, believing all the unkind comments and judgement from others, feeling confused / lost / helpless, angry, mixed emotions (Wilmot et al., 2024).

Over time, such thoughts and feelings can lead to symptoms of depression. In fact, some studies indicate depression symptoms may start as early as preschool (Koyuncu et al., 2024). 

A typical school day or workday presents so many challenges for a person with DLD. In addition to facing language tasks related to academic learning, a student might face situations like these: 

• having trouble interpreting the other people’s intentions 
• feeling unable to express thoughts and emotions 
• being left out of social interactions or actively bullied by peers 
• needing to focus intently on non-verbal cues and visual information to function 

Sometimes, people create their own strategies for coping with ongoing stress. Luisa, 37, said art was her go-to response. “I was not able to express myself really…I might have done it through drawing…I think [that] was a way to, you know, filter the emotions and help me to calm down.” Other people cope with daily stress by choosing solitude. Farah, 40, explained, “When I was alone, I was super happy.”  Farah called this intentional solitude-seeking the ability to “bubble up” (Burnley et al., 2024).  

When these coping mechanisms don’t adequately dissipate anxiety, stress piles up. The result can be a meltdown, an anxiety or panic attack, or a sense of utter depletion. One parent described it this way:  

(A panic attack) might have been triggered by sheer exhaustion because…it takes so much more of his energy to get through a day at school than other typical chil[dren]…I think that was a major thing during the past six months that led to this huge panic attack.

–Sanne, speaking of 9-year-old Elias (Burnley et al., 2024)

Students with DLD sometimes lash out at others when they cannot express anxiety, upset, or the frustration of being misunderstood. One speech–language pathologist told researchers, “We tend to get a lot of young people who are presenting at school, with quite significant behavioural difficulties and we tend to find that being viewed as a behavioural child, rather than a child that’s got underlying language needs that have been un-diagnosed” (Hancock et al., 2023).  

What Can We Do to Support Mental Health for People With DLD? 

DLD is a lifelong condition, and language differences are likely to persist throughout secondary and higher education into adulthood. The most important step we can take is to conduct a thorough language evaluation to understand the specific strengths and needs of an individual, and then provide the language supports and training for each person.  

Here are a few other suggestions for creating supportive classrooms and workspaces, gleaned from qualitative studies that explored DLD’s practical effects. 

Give people more time to concentrate, answer, or respond.  

For people with DLD, finding the right words, whether in speech or in writing, generally takes more time and effort than it does for neurotypical individuals. Some students worry that their teachers won’t trust them enough to provide that extra time. 

Elsa explained, “[I]t takes more time for me sometimes to reply and think and such, and study. It takes more time for me.”  Fourteen-year-old Harry said his teacher questioned him about the last two tasks in an assignment Henry had not completed. “I just didn’t get that far, I just said. And it was like, ‘Well, what were you doing then?...What did you do in class then?’”  

Sometimes, what looks like a challenging behavior is actually a student expressing a language need. For example, 18-year-old Rory habitually closed his textbook so he could devote his full attention to listening as his teacher read a passage aloud.  

"I close the book; I listen much better," he explained. But Rory's teacher objected. She felt his behavior disturbed other students who were able to follow along in the text as she read. What looked like a student refusing to read was in reality a student doing his utmost to compensate for DLD (Ekström et al., 2023).  

Think about safety when putting people in groups.

For some students, speaking in a whole class situation is intimidating, but a small group is less trying. This is especially true if the members of the small group feel safe and are accepting of the person with DLD. 

“It depends who I’m with,” one student said, “if I’m comfortable with the persons or not, if I, like, know them” (Ekström et al., 2023). 

For some students, the group that feels safest is one where younger children are present. One parent noticed, “When [Abigail] was at preschool she always used to play with like the babies and the younger ones…I think because they were sort of at a language similar to her. She felt safe.” 

Looking back on her childhood, Sammy told researchers, “My last year, I did form friendships with slightly younger children…being like a buddy for like a younger child…I could form so much better friendships with them...because I felt like I wasn’t going to be condescended to” (Burnley et al., 2024). 

Notice and support areas of strength. 

Everyone has areas of personal strength and talent. Because DLD affects self-concept, it’s important to notice and talk about what a person can do, rather than focusing exclusively on challenges. As you plan instruction, interventions, and accommodations, it’s a good idea to build on existing strengths and to incorporate interests.  

Parents of children with DLD said their children had developed areas of strength because of their language difficulties. These included: 

• heightened visual skills 
• keen perception of the body language and mental states of others 
• empathy for the feelings of others 
• artistic or creative expression 
• willingness to bounce back and keep trying (Burnley et al., 2023) 

One adult with DLD said it this way:

If I could tell the middle and high school teachers, the peers from those seven years, the family member who refused to accept my diagnosis, and my younger self anything, I would tell them that intelligence and DLD are not mutually exclusive. In fact, many of these children grow in their intelligence because of DLD and the need to find ways around their language difficulties (Orrego et al., 2023).

Foster choice when it comes to language-intense experiences. 

Long lectures, reading assignments, and writing projects are disproportionately difficult for those with DLD.  When possible, allow people to break such tasks into smaller segments or choose alternate ways to express their knowledge and opinions.  

A group of 293 parents, teachers, and allied health professionals rated literacy and language tasks the most challenging school tasks for children with DLD (Ziegenfusz et al., 2025). The group also said additional time and visual supports were the most helpful accommodations.  

Olga, 17, told researchers, “It’s fine…when I can decide on my own how much time I have to read…If a teacher tells me, ‘Read from page 50 to 60,’ then I can’t read that much, so I have to like split it up, and then process it afterwards, and then read the next” (Ekstrom et al., 2023). 

Adapt the workplace to support those with DLD.  

DLD does not disappear in adulthood. Awareness and support are as important at work as they are at school. One adult with DLD shared the need for ongoing acceptance and inclusion in the workplace: 

Those of us with DLD might ask you to repeat something that we didn’t catch the first time. Or we might need a little extra time to formulate and articulate an idea in one-on-one conversations or in group meetings. We might ask you to present information in a format suited to our learning preferences (for instance, I am a hands-on, visual learner, and I do better with written communication). We don’t want you to interrupt or finish our sentences for us. And if we struggle to get the information out or aren’t meeting an unknown deadline that wasn’t explicitly stated, please don’t say “try harder”—you have no idea how hard we are already trying (Hirn, 2023).

Know that you’re making a big difference.  

For many people with DLD, receiving a clear diagnosis is a turning point. Participating in therapy can also be transformative.  

One adult with DLD spoke of her speech–language pathologist, Stella, this way:

Stella was a crucial player in my story. Although I was, according to her, one of her most severe cases, she never lost her enthusiasm or patience with me. She got to know me—a studious young girl who loved to read and tell stories—and tailored our sessions to my style of work and play…Stella provided a fun, safe, unconditionally accepting environment for me to try new tactics, make mistakes, and learn.

–Paula (Orrego et al., 2023)

Key Message  

Studies that allow us to share the perspectives of people with DLD are valuable because the condition so often goes unrecognized in schools and workplaces. Learning about the lived experience of people with DLD may help educators and clinicians identify the condition, plan appropriate interventions, and adapt the environment to better meet each person’s language needs.